EINSTEIN

I wish I was a character instead of a person. Being a character is kind of like being a Christian—you don't have to bear responsibility for how fucked up you are, or how immoral. Just think of Emma Bovary or Humbert Humbert.

Einstein has become a character instead of a person, and I would definitely like to be Einstein. How satisfying to have one's name become a synonym for smartness. My name will never be a synonym for anything. Nobody will ever say "He's pretty good, but he's no Emily Vey Duke".